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my sons mother is moving to washington what should i do?

by tom44 on September 23, 2013

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Question by matt_pietras_fredmeyer: my sons mother is moving to washington what should i do?
I have a broken relationship with my son’s mother she claims she is going to washington to a job opening i live in oregon. all her family and my family is oregon. does she have the right to leave over state lines? If so what legal advice would u give me? I want him here in oregon.

Best answer:

Answer by Micheal B
id talk to a lawyer if i were you. it doesnt sound legal though. i think she would have to choose

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7 thoughts on “my sons mother is moving to washington what should i do?

  1. HarmonyNY says:

    it would all depend on your custody arrangements. if you dont have any court ordered, you would hafta get a lawyer and petition the courst for custody arrangements. call and make an appointment with a lawyer the initial consultation is usually a free one and they can go about telling you your legal options.

  2. David W says:

    damn, take it to court about trying to get custody of your child or if all else fails move if you love your kid… all i got to say good luck 😀

  3. Calliope says:

    I understand you wanting to be close to your son. Really I do, and I am glad that you want to be a father (unlike so many deadbeats that exist).

    However, she has every legal right to move. Just because you and she had a child together, doesn’t mean she has to live wherever you live, always and forever. There isn’t a law that says a person can only live in one place forever because her family and/or ex live there. If that was the case, harldy anyone would be able to move!

    This would probably be a good time to set up visitation scehdules…like you could maybe get him for a month in the summer, a week at Christmas, etc. Find what works. But don’t lay blame on your ex for wanting to explore a job opportunity. She isn’t doing it to hurt you, or you and your son’s relationship. She is doing it for her and her son to better thier lives.

    Sometimes life sucks and it isn’t fair. We all have to compromise.

  4. KMS says:

    Talk to a lawyer. I know that if I move out of my kids’ school district, I have to give my ex a minimum of 6wks notice.

  5. M. Newton says:

    All I would say is if you start proceedings to determine custody rights they will be held in the state where the child has been living. This might slow or halt the move altogether. It sounds like you don’t have a court sanctioned agreement so it is really up in the air and she can do as she pleases if you don’t get one. Buy an half hour with an attorney.

  6. elmina says:

    You do not state the age of your son. Has anyone asked him what he would like?

    The most important part of a relationship with a child is not the location you both occupy, but the willingness both of you have to continue with a good relationship irrespective of what happens, where you live, what terms you are on with your ex-partner, and a host of other factors.

    OF COURSE it will be easier for everyone if your child is nearby – no one disputes that. But nothing is ever as easy as it looks at the beginning.

    How you tackle the process of the decisions regarding your son, whether they take place at all, and where he ends up living for the few years he is a dependent child… that’s what’s important. How you tackle the process. How you behave during this change in his life.

    If you create a football or a hot potato out of this child – if he becomes a possession that is hotly disputed and fought over, it will not help his life one bit.

    On the other hand, if his parents lose the desire to threaten, fight, dispute and argue, just because a relationship has bitten the dust, and stop treating the boy as if he were an object that one has to be physically close to in order to enjoy, like a TV set, then it’s not lost before it’s fought.

    Discuss this with your son if he is old enough, or find new ways of looking at your problem. What you ‘want’ will not always be possible.

    If you decide on joint custody, he might be able to spend half his time with you. Will that be good enough? Will you manage, with work and stuff? Will he cope with it? There are so many options for you.

    Don’t just go on the legal aspects of this – there are many other aspects. “Legal” is not a comprehensible term to a child. Do this the reasonable way, and you will all benefit. Look at the emotional aspect, the practical aspect, the financial aspect, the friendship and educational aspect… and they all change in intensity and importance over time. What’s great for a four month old is not applicable for a fourteen year old, and he’s heading that way. But how will he feel about you when he is eighteen? It depends on how you react and behave NOW.

    Hope this helps.

  7. CM says:

    I agree with calliope.

    Your ex does have every legal right to move where it may benefit her and her family. If there are no custody agreements, now is the time so that you are not trying to do that while she is hundreds of miles away.

    You also have the choice to follow her, although that may not be most beneficial either.

    Consult a lawyer, and try to keep is civil..Your son will appreciate that someday.

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