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child custody laws Tennessee?

by tom44 on April 9, 2014

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Question by kita: child custody laws Tennessee?
Hi I am 18 and almost 4 months pregnant. My 26 yr old bf left me when I told him. We had previous plans of marriage but the first sign of commitment he was gone. Now, his mom and him are talking about taking the baby away or getting a lawyer to get joint custody. Please do not judge my situation I strictly want info about the laws and/or your personal experience. I grew up in a difficult custody situation and I just dont want my baby going through the same thing. Why questions are : Can they take my baby because of my age? Because I do not have a job can they take away the baby even if I can give it everything it needs? Do I have to let him sign the birth certificate unless I’m court ordered? Do I have to let him be in the delivery room when its time? Do I have to let him see the baby after its born. I am in the state of Tennessee and I know laws differ from state to state. So any information can help. He is not the greatest person. He would be a great provider financially but he has horrible morals and uses his money to show love and he lies, cheats, and steals.. and even now that we are broke up and dont talk that much he still treats me as awful as ever. His mom blames getting pregnant on me. They are just not people that I want in my baby’s life. I know that I should have thought about that when it happened I’m aware of my mistakes. Now its on to the next step . thanks for any help.

Best answer:

Answer by Kel
I lived in TN when I got pregnant with my daughter. Me and her dad broke up when I was 3 months pregnant, and I moved to IN. He was not in the room, did not sign the birth certificate, and does not have visitation. He is ordered to pay child support, but they told him if he wanted visitation he would have to take me back to court. He never did. No, the dad does not have to be in the room. You can have anyone you want in the delivery room, and kick anyone that you don’t, out. You can even keep him from coming on the delivery floor. I was also 18 when I got pregnant with my daughter, he was 21.

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4 thoughts on “child custody laws Tennessee?

  1. Maggie says:

    Sweetie,

    1. Do NOT put his name on the birth certificate.
    2. Go get a lawyer if they come after you.
    3. And sue for Child Support if he pushes the issue.

    I understand what you are going through. Talk to your Mom or Dad, whoever you are closest to. Discuss your fears and worries with them.

    The fact that you want what is best for your child shows your maturity. You have a rough road ahead. Keep your chin up.

  2. Daisy's Freedom Suspended says:

    No way can they take your baby. I don’t think they will even order over night visits for a small baby, especially if you are breastfeeding.

    You may want to talk to a custody lawyer.

    Can you move out of state, or just very far away so that it will be extremely inconvenient for them to harass you? The sooner the better. Just let them forget you exist.

    The bf would prolly just disappear if it weren’t for his mom. Perhaps you should make peace with her and try to be friends. She is not doing this just to hassle you, as a grandma expecting a grand baby she probably loves the little tyke. As much as my mother in law annoys, she buys a ton of stuff for my kids that I can’t afford, so it does help.

    I would do everything you can to very calmly 1. Let them know that you know there is no way possible they can take this baby away from you. 2. That you are willing for them to visit the baby. I am hoping that this would discourage them from taking you to court. Of course you should be ready at any moment, but if you appear to go along with them, they wouldn’t need to and could save a bundle of money which seems to be a big motivation to them. Once they don’t have any court orders you can do as you please.

    Here’s a news flash about men. They work and earn money to show love. It’s what they do and should not be looked down upon. I am not a materialistic person, but I sure like eating 3 times a day and wearing clean clothes, and sleeping in a clean, dry, warm bed. All those things cost money.

    If you don’t want him in the delivery room he can’t be there. If you don’t want him to visit in the hospital he can’t.

  3. Doodlestuff says:

    You have sole custody at the birth. Unless you are unfit, the baby is yours. You do not have to let him sign the birth certificate or even put him on it. You do not have to allow him to be in the delivery room. You do not have to let him see the baby after it’s born unless court ordered (which means he will also be paying child support).

    Honey, you were duped. Men like your bf are just out to bang women. Commitment was never part of the deal.

  4. April says:

    I live in tn as well. They can use the fact that u don’t have a job against u. but the bright side is that there is no law thats says u have to let him in the delivery room, and he can not sign the birth certificate without your permission i have already talked to a lawyer about that, just make sure that when u go into the hospital that u let whoever is on staff what your birthing plan is,including who u want around, and no they cant take your baby because of your age. and even if he tryes to take u to court a judge is not going to let a baby that little stay away from a mother overnight, and it would be even better if u would breastfeed because that will really lower his chances of getting the baby. until u can get a job. your home has to be stable and u will have to prove that in court but for now don’t stress because he wont be able to touch that baby for a long time, i have been there. and the fact that he bailed out on you isn’t gonna help him at all in court. it actually proves him to be unfit and u can sue him for abandonment. and u do not have to let him see the baby.

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